A Life Teacher

A reflective essay by Krishna May Adlawan

A summer break of when I was a decade old with my older sister’s supervision, playing rampantly alone around the house, on a cemented sizzling ground with loose slippers on. When I had done, and boredom arrived, begging to play house with my sister when she refused profusely and soon harshly declined.

“NO! listen to me and just sit there”

I had but a louse idea to chase a bug instead. I hear my sister’s voice slice through my ears,

“You’ll trip!”

Tumbled, and midway through it, I thought that the slippers were too big on my feet, as my knees slid on the cemented ground's horizontal patterns. It stings. The liquid in my eyes covered my sight as it overflows, my sister beside me like an abandoned statue in a city of the unknown; she was stoned, which wears an expression I can’t paint, but she was beside me, with both her knees on the ground, looking down. I could feel the sticky sweat dripping from my temples to the edge of my brows while I sniffle to the scratches on my knees.

“If only sis would have played house with me” I mutter to myself.

Then, the silence made me listen to the respectable demeanour of my mother who stands before us. I hear the words echoed through my head

as she says,

“Listen to older people, they know what’s coming. Why are you crying? You led yourself to that situation and head not your sister’s warning.”

I realized at that moment, that it wasn’t because the slippers were too big for me but it was my reckless decision that led me to fall.

My mother is not the type to shout when she is mad, but her penetrating glare is enough to chill us to our bones. She does not raise her voice but raises her words. She is a single mother and has to work to raise her daughters, and with that being said, she comes home every weekend and sometimes she couldn’t. But every summer, she tries to spend more time with us.

I know she is tired, and she does not have the energy and as many mothers would have done, they might have probably raised their voices to their children. But since mother was tired, she does not raise her voice to make us listen to her, but her powerful words silence us. There are many times I fell or made a mistake and cried, and my mother would come to lecture me. But even so, I am grateful for those lectures she told me; if it were not for those, I would have been living my life ignorant of my mistakes with awful attitude.

I clearly recall the first encounter of life outside my mother’s supervision; in the sixth grade where I was left in a school unfamiliar to my sense at the time, I encountered strangers—soon to be friend, and some, enemy. I have been approached by people of different households with different perspective and disciplines. However, upon my unintentional observation when I happen to gaze out from the lecture room, a child of around my age whose arms are entwined against each arm with maddened face standing upright before an elderly maintenance woman who seems to be glum looking so nonchalantly to the ground and basing on the movements alone, she is apologizing to the child. It looked to me as though the child is scolding the woman for something that the woman is clearly sorry about.

There I realized that I am grateful to have been raised with correct attitude despite learning from my mistakes and embarrassing situations. I became mindful to the elders, especially if I am starting to become rude towards others. I am becoming very much aware of my actions as well as words that will be spat from my mouth.

Once I fought with my sister and have said words, younger siblings shouldn’t have to their older sibling. Of course, our quarrel have reached my mother’s ears in which had been the referee for the both of us, she pulled us aside and lectured us.

I heard such words in a calm yet stern voice

“If there is nothing good that will come out of your mouth, you better just shut it. You will never know how your words will affect other people, it might be just a throw of insult for you, but it could be the reason for somebody’s death, so mind your words.”

It struck me silent because she was right, and she has great point. I shouldn’t have said hurtful things, not because of its ‘forbidden/bad’ words but because of the person receiving/ hearing those words.

“Ma’am, I know you’re not okay so you can rest for a bit I can uphold the meeting instead, don’t worry and just rest for a bit. If you need someone to talk to, we are here.”

She did not tell me anything of the matter and just embraced me, all while apologizing for being ‘unprofessional’ in front of her students. However, I will never forget how she thanked me,

“You don’t know how much your words are comforting”

At the moment, it flashed to me when I once fought with my sister and have said words younger siblings shouldn’t have to their older sibling. Of course, our quarrel have reached my mother’s ears in which had been the referee for the both of us, she pulled us aside and lectured us in which I heard such words in a calm yet stern voice,

“If there is nothing good that will come out of your mouth, you better just shut it. You will never know how your words will affect other people, it might be just a throw of insult for you, but it could be the reason for somebody’s death, so mind your words.”

She was right. My words greatly affected others, but this time, it was a positive one, and I helped my club adviser somehow.

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What Have I Learnt From This?

Our actions and words affect others, and they reflect our personalities too. All because of the people that corrects our mistake, influence us for our betterment and these teachers in our life does not necessarily need to be ‘licensed teachers and educators’, they could be a family member, or the senior woman passing by the road, the street vendor or a kid in the park.

These people could be a life teacher once one (me, you, them, others) have learnt something good from those people. Their advice, actions and words taught you something in life or made you realize something that will make you improve yourself. But in my case, its my mother who taught me to thoroughly improve myself: manners, action, mannerism, words, etc. It is such a relief to have someone (somebody) correct myself for my betterment and I will always be grateful for my life teachers.